


how rough can you be

by Andie (andie), Miss17Understood



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, Gore, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andie/pseuds/Andie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss17Understood/pseuds/Miss17Understood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Run, that’s all you can think about as the sound of your heavy footsteps echo in the dimly lit hallway. Your heart pounds in your chest as the screams of your co-workers echo in your mind. You know he is coming for you and all you can think about is run to save your fucking miserable life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how rough can you be

**Author's Note:**

> This is black gamkar for my moirail, she really wanted it and could not wait for me to finish it. So enjoy

How rough can you be?

 

Ship: (Black) GamKar   
Rated: 18/MA  
Warnings: Blood, Gore, Violence, death, and Angst  
Word Count: 4,067  
AU: Humanstuck

Run, that’s all you can think about as the sound of your heavy footsteps echo in the dimly lit hallway. Your heart pounds in your chest as the screams of your co-workers echo in your mind. Your breath comes out in rapid puffs while you round the corner into a dead end. You look around, trying to think of another way out. Nothing comes to your mind, so you look back at the dead end in despair. An idea pops into your mind as you stare into the darkness. It’s darker than the rest of the hallway and you think that you can hide here until you can come up with a better plan. You slide down the wall and bring your knees up to your chest in a fucking pathetic attempt to make yourself even smaller. You cover your mouth with one hand while the other curls over your knees. There is another scream that causes your head to pound in pain. You cover your ears to block out the horrid noises, you don’t want to hear any more of that shit or it will be permanently implanted into your fucking brain. Even when you block out the noise you can still hear the scratching on the metal walls. The insane laughter and honks that echoes off the metal as he gets closer and closer to your shitty hiding place, your heart was beating so loudly that you can swear it was beating right next to your fucking ear.  
There is another scream, you recognize it as Terezi one of the few co-workers you were close with. Hot tears of fear and regret roll down your pale cheeks as you try to hide your face in your knees. You are sure you look just like a fucking child at the moment; but you don’t fucking care. Your miserable existence will soon be coming to an end if he finds you. You can hear him getting closer and closer, the honks are sounding louder and louder. You bite into the palm of your hand in a feeble attempt to hide the sounds of your breathing and sobs that wish to escape your throat.   
“HONK! Honk.” His voice goes from yelling to softly talking as he moves closer. “Oh Karbro~” He sings out before falling into another fit of manic laughter that sends shivers up your spine. You shut your eyes tight and prey to every fucking god in the universe he does not find you. Closer and closer, his footsteps and the haunting sounds of his honks echo even louder. Your body shakes with fear and your bite your palm even harder. You don’t even feel the fucking pain because of the fear that grips your heart so tightly. Then just as you are sure he has found you everything stops, there’s only silence that fills your ears. You stay still for what feels like a fucking eternity. Time has frozen around you as you strain your ears to listen for any vocal clues. There aren’t any. You slowly bring your hand down from your mouth as you let out the breath you didn’t even fucking know you were holding. You smile a bit when you realize then you may have narrowly escaped with your fucking pathetic life. You let out a soft breathy laugh as you allow your guard to fall. It was funny to think that you really fucking got away from that shitfaced clown. There is no scratching on the metal walls, honks with insane laughter mixed in, you managed to fucking escape him somehow.  
BAM! You open your eyes as the part of the wall above your head is destroyed by a hammer. Metal flew off due to the impact in slow motion in front of your eyes. Your eyes slowly widen in fear and your heart races once again as you slowly turn your head to be met with the most terrifying face you have ever fucking seen. The shitfaced clown is staring deep into your red eyes, insanity dancing playfully in his purple orbs. His chapped grey painted lips are twisted up in a horrible sickly sweet smile. His eyes are wide and glazed over, showing that his mind wasn’t completely there. His yellow sharp teeth seemed to be glowing in the dim lighted hallway.   
“I motherfuckin found you Karbro~. You motherfuckin thought you can up and hide from a motherfucker.” He says in-between laughter, his head swaying back and forth. He slowly reaches over you to grab the hammer from the wall. You take this time to scoot back, only to have your back met with another fucking wall.   
“Oh karbro don’t all up and leave me motherfucker, I still got to give you a motherfuckin ticket.” He says as he moves closer to you, he grips your skinny throat in an iron grip. He brings you up to his face and says with that same sick smile. “A motherfuckin special ticket to the dark carnival motherfucker, just for motherfuckin you.” You smell the blood on his lips, that horrid smell makes your stomach churn and you want to vomit every piece of food you have ever fucking consumed in your life. He laughs as he slowly starts to tighten his grip around your neck. You realize he was trying to choke you to death so you start to claw at his hands. You kick your feet hoping you could kick something vulnerable on him as you struggle to keep your life.  
He laughs at your weak attempts and stares you in the eye as he says; “That’s right struggle motherfucker, all up and fight for your motherfuckin pathetic little life.” He chokes you harder and your vision starts to darken around the edges. This causes you to struggle even more, kicking clawing at your attacker. Your nails dig into his skin, drawing only a bit of blood, but it doesn’t faze him at all. He laughs in your face as he squeezes even harder, but he’s careful not to fucking crush your throat.   
He then gets tired of your failed attempts and slams your head into the metal wall. You hit your head hard causing you to see stars. Your hands fall limp to your side as you blink several times trying to regain focus. He tightens his grip even more and you can feel yourself falling into unconsciousness.   
He leans in and whispers softly into your ear “Just sleep motherfucker, just all up and fall asleep.” You start to listen to him despite your best judgment, you feel it would better to just pass out then go through any more pain. You shut your eyes and fall into the blissful darkness. The last thing you see is his face smiling at you. That sick twisted smile burns in your mind and all you see is him, killing everyone then you very, very slowly.   
When you wake up you frantically look around. Most of the room is dark and when you try to move your arms you find that the fucking clown has strapped you to the table. You try to calm yourself, there is no fucking time for you to panic. You stop when you hear footsteps coming towards you from the darkness. He appears, that smile growing as he watches you fucking panic.   
“Glad you all up and awake motherfucker, it wouldn’t motherfuckin be fun if you motherfuckin you all up and got your motherfuckin sleep on.” He says as he comes up to you. You open your mouth to scream, but he forces something down your throat. You are forced to swallow down the pill that he shoved down your throat. The drug starts to slow down your heart and your muscles relax, but it doesn’t knock you out. Your body is just really relaxed, but your mind is at full attention. “You ready for the motherfuckin dark carnival Karbro?” He whispers as his pulls out a surgical scalpel. Your eyes widen in fear as the blade glistens off the dim light that hangs overhead. You try to move your arms again, but your body is heavy from the effect of the drugs.   
“P-please let me go I’m sorry! I’M FUCKING SORRY!” You start to yell, even though you have no idea what you are sorry for. You only took care of Gamzee, after the experiments were over. You never took part in the terrible experiments that put the mental patients through. You try to struggle even more in your restraints. He laughs at you like it’s the funniest thing he ever fucking seen in the world. He places the cool metal of the blade on your pale stomach and presses in. First you feel the burning pain then as he slices it up, white hot pain explodes through your body. Tears well up in the corner of your eyes as blood starts to rise from the wound. He pulls back the flaps of flash revealing the muscle underneath the skin. Tears roll down your face as you lay there panicking in your mind, but your body is completely relaxed from the drug he forced you to take.   
“You motherfuckin ready bro, cause I aint all up and done with you yet.” He says with that twisted sick smile on his monochrome clown face. You shook your heard no as hot tears rolled down your cheeks like a tiny river. He dug in the scalpel once again, dragging it down slowly to cause you even more agonizing pain. You shut your eyes tight, screaming in pure agony as he laughed like a mad man. He opens you up and takes a look inside your body. You feel him dig his fingers inside to feel around. Some blood squirted from the wound which causes him to giggle like a baby playing peek-a-boo with their mother.  
“Now I all up and understand why you motherfuckers all up and enjoyed probing at me.” Gamzee says as he pokes around, trying to get more blood to squirt out. You are breathing hard and tears are flowing fucking nonstop at this point. The pain is too much for you and your vision starts to blur as you slowly pass out from the pain. The pain starts to disappear and you think that maybe you can finally leave this hell for just a moment.  
Then suddenly you are forced awake, you look down to see a needle in your arm. You look back up at Gamzee, fear gripping your heart like an iron cage once again. “Why?” You whimper out as he walks away from you to grab something from the table.   
“I can’t motherfuckin allow you to all up and get your sleep on just yet Karbro.” Gamzee says as he walks back over with a sewing needle and thread in his hands. “I want you to motherfuckin watch every wicked second of me playing with your motherfuckin body.” He puts the thread through the needle before starts to sew the hole shut. You were forced to feel and watch fucking agonizing every minute of him sewing you back together very slowly. He hums happily as he works, that wild look playfully dancing in his eyes. Once he was done he placed the needle and thread down before looking down at you.   
“Motherfuckin get some sleep Karbro.” He says, then leans down so he’s face to face to you. You could smell blood and the faint scent of weed on his breath, you start to wonder where the fuck did he get weed from. “Have a motherfuckin bitchtits sleep.” He then kisses you hard. Disgust is what you instantly fucking feel. You don’t kiss back and shut your eyes tight, trying so hard to shut this out. He pulls back and bites down on your lip, breaking the skin. Your bottom lip throbs in pain as he sucks the blood from it. He then pulls back smiling down at you. You can feel anger mix with fear bubbling up in your chest.   
“I fucking hate you so fucking much you piece of shit.” You growl out without thinking about the consequences of your words. Gamzee laughs at your weak attempt to seem tough. He ruffles your brown hair before walking away.   
“See you in the motherfuckin morning Karbro, all up and get your motherfuckin sleep on now.” He says leaving you to your own dark thoughts. You start to cry when you realize that this is truly the end for you. There was no way you were escaping this fucking psychopath. You laid there staring up at the dirty ceiling for what felt like hours until you finally fell asleep.   
“WAKE THE MOTHERFUCK UP!” You hear in your sleep, you open your eyes only to see a fist flying towards you. Gamzee’s fist makes contact with your cheek, pain instantly follows the punch. It hurts like a fucking bitch and you could feel your cheek throbbing with pain. A bit of blood and a tooth falls out your mouth, you end up swallow some of your fucking blood. The metallic taste of your blood makes you sick and you try to spit foul taste out, only to have more blood replace it.   
Gamzee gives you a smile before grabbing your face. “Now that you all up and motherfuckin awake, lets motherfuckin play more.” Gamzee spits in your face and it mixes with the tears and blood that drips down from your face to your neck. He then walks away from you, grabbing a hammer from the table he has set up with all his special tools. You stare in pure fear, thoughts racing in your mind as you try to think of what this mad clown has in store for you.   
Gamzee walks over slowly raising the hammer then bringing it down fast on your leg. You scream before you feel any pain, in fact you don’t feel any pain at all. You are panting hard, keeping your eyes closed in fear of what you might see if you fucking open them. You finally work up the courage to open your eyes and look up at Gamzee, the hammer is just inches from your knee making you tense up more. Gamzee snickers madly as he stares into your blood shot eyes.   
“That motherfuckin fear you all up and showing me is beautiful Karbro.” He whispers out in between his snickering. Your chest rises and falls rapidly with your breathing as you just stare at your fucked up captor. “So motherfuckin beautiful. So very motherfuckin beautiful Karbro.” He whispers then goes silent for a moment. You both stare at each other in silence. You lay there very tense and guarded. A smile then spread across his face, that wild look in his eyes getting even wilder. He then slams the hammer down on your knee. You hear a crack break the silence followed by your screams of agony. He laughs loudly but it’s being drowned out by your screaming. He slams the hammer down on your other ankle. The same sickening crack can be heard following it. You scream out even louder, hot tears roll down your cheeks as the pain rocks your body. You feel like your ankles are broken after that, you soil yourself after holding it for so long. He sniffs the air as your screams calm down to pathetic whimpers.   
“Oh motherfuckin look at that. I was motherfuckin wondering when you were all up and going to lose.” Gamzee says looking down as the light green liquid drips off the table. Gamzee turns away then turns back around with a needle. “Don’t motherfuckin worry karbro, I all up and got you.” He says with a surprising small smile that doesn’t look psychotic. He pushes the needle into your veins and injects the liquid. You soon feel your eyes getting droopy and sleep wanting to overtake you. You try to fight it off, but it doesn’t work and you give in. The last thing you see is that smile, still plastered on Gamzee’s face.   
When you wake up, you are back on the table with boxers that are too fucking big for your tiny ass frame. You look around and see that Gamzee is sitting in a chair next to the table he has you strapped in. He’s just sitting there, eyes closed and looking very peaceful and laid back. Well peaceful for a fucking insane clown that been torturing you for a day or so.   
“You motherfuckin know I all up and listened to you whenever you took care of me.” Gamzee whispers. You raise an eyebrow. You fucking wonder what the hell he talking about. Then you realize he is talking about all the fucking times you took care of him after the experiments.  
Gamzee covers his face with his left hand and starts to laugh as he says “I always motherfuckin listened whenever you motherfuckin cleaned me. You always motherfuckin said how you hated this fucking job. You always motherfuckin said how not wicked your life was motherfuckin going. You motherfuckin never thought I motherfuckin listened huh Karbro?” He looks at you with a paint covered eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer it fucking seems.   
You lick your chapped lips before saying in a raspy voice “No I never fucking knew you were listening, I always thought you were too far gone from the drugs.” You wonder what fucking made this clown switch from psycho to fucking semi normal.   
“That motherfuckin blind sister, the one with that motherfuckin laugh. You all up and loved her right?” He asks, looking up at the ceiling.   
“Yeah.” You simply whispered.   
“But she all up and never felt those wicked feelings back.” Gamzee whispered. “I would motherfuckin hear you cry when you came into my motherfuckin room. You never motherfuckin thought that anyone would motherfuckin know.” Gamzee says, standing up from the chair. He walks towards you, staring down deeply into your eyes.   
“What do you fucking want from me?” You finally ask. The whole time you wonder what made this fucker do this to you. “I never fucking did a thing to you. I always fucking took care of you.”   
Gamzee’s eyes darken, that evil glint appeared as he whispers “You could have motherfuckin stopped it. You could have stopped the pain. That made you the motherfuckin worst Karbro. You never motherfuckin intervened to stop a brother’s pain.” Gamzee turns and walks back to the chair, he grips the arms and leans over a bit. “You all up and showed me kindness, but motherfuckin allowed a brother to hurt. You motherfuckin allowed the pain and never tried to save a brother.”   
“Gamzee please just let me go I’m sorry for never helping you. I’m sorry for never speaking up, but this isn’t fucking right. This is fucking sick so please stop and fucking fix it.” You say, trying to appeal to the kinder side of this fucking insane fool. Gamzee stands there for a moment then turns around to face you. You try to read his eyes, but it’s so hard to figure out what is going on in his mind.   
“I can’t motherfuckin stop now Karbro, It motherfuckin too late to give up on the dark carnival.” Gamzee says as he walks over. “I have to motherfuckin see it fully through.”   
“Then what are you going to fucking do, kill me it would be way fucking better than this world!” You yelled.   
Gamzee silent for a moment before he says, “You want to motherfuckin die so bad. The motherfuckin girl of your dreams loved someone else. You have no motherfuckin family to go home to. All you have is that empty motherfuckin home that you motherfuckin avoided by taking care of me.” Gamzee gives you a smile and says, “You always wanted to motherfuckin die, but was too much of coward to do it with your own motherfuckin hands.”   
You could feel tears rolling down your face because what he says is true. You tried hanging and drowning yourself multiple times, each time you tried overdosing on pills you only ended up spitting them out. You wore long sleeves to hide the failed attempts at slitting your wrist. You was always too much of a coward to ever take your own fucking life. You hated Gamzee for fucking know that, he knew how much of fucking coward you truly are.  
“Damnit! Why do you have to be fucking right you ass mucking insane piece of clown shit!” You scream at him, hot tears streaming down your pale face. “Just fucking do it already, kill me end my miserable fucking life!”   
Gamzee smiles and says, “No motherfucker, this is the motherfuckin finale of the dark carnival.” Gamzee pulls a gun out and places it to his temple, smiling at you with that big twisted smile. “I all up and called the motherfuckin cops, they should all up and be here soon. See ya Karbro, I hope you motherfuckin enjoyed the dark carnival.” He stops for a moment before walking over to you. He leans over to give you another fucking kiss. This time you returned it because it was the only fucking time someone was ever gentle to you. Gamzee pulls away after what felt like a minute then walked away from the bed. He turns back to you, cracking a kind smile at you before mouthing the words that leave you in tears.   
Gamzee then pulls the trigger. There’s a pop and you watch as blood and brain matter hit the wall. You stare in disbelief as his limp body fell to the ground in a heap. The gun slid away from his dead body as you laid there in complete shock. He left you alive to suffer the damage he inflicted on you, only to die and take away the one thing you wanted. Sweet release from this fucked up cruel world.   
You first start screaming and you start struggling in your restraints once again. Then when you finally calm down, you start to cry as you lay there waiting for the police. When they got there, a newer recruit ran from the room to puke his brains out. The older officers stared then started to help get you out of your restraints, a woman officer puts a blanket over your shivering body as you sat up on the table. You are rushed to the hospital where they tell you that Gamzee broke your ankles. You had to get two casts so they can fix the factures.   
Police come and go, gathering your statement so they could put it in your file and finish the paper work. With Gamzee dead there is nothing that they could do but tidy up the fucking paperwork.   
You lay in the hospital bed completely dead to the world and the nurses who take care of you while you are in the hospital for fucking two weeks. When you are released you are forced to go home to an empty house like always. You are stuck in a wheelchair for months with a nurse that comes and goes. When you are finally better you buy a gun from pawnshop and bring it home. You sit on your bed laying the crutches on the wall next to you bed. You first just stare at the small pistol for a while, turning it over in your hands every once in a while. You then load it up slowly and place the barrel in your mouth. You shut your eyes tight as tears start to stream down your face. You place a single finger over the trigger and slowly press down.   
You expect a light or something maybe even god to fucking greet you; but there is nothing. When you open your eyes you a met with the sight of your shitty bedroom. The gun jammed at the last moment, you throw it away in disgust then lay back crying your fucking eyes out like a baby. This is truly hell on earth and Gamzee knew it. It was his last fuck you to you all because you never spoke up in his defense. The only kind soul to him in that fucking mental asylum.


End file.
